Posted by: bkivey | 15 July 2011

Say What?

Why Businesses Fail

While roaming around the Internet I chanced upon a website for a defunct company callled Grokker. The company was developing a new type of search engine that would, well, I’ll let the company homepage tell you:

Grokker is a Web-based enterprise search management platform that leverages the power of federated content access and visualization to maximize the value of information assets for enterprises, content publishers, libraries and other research-intensive organizations.

Huh? Unless one is defending a client or writing laws, the purpose of language is to clarify, not obsfucate. Here is the same concept in the words of another site:

Grokker analyzes search results and groups them visually for effortless research.

If you were an investor, which company would you put your money on?

Another Way to Say “I Failed”

The setup:

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise seem like deep thought.

Bennet Cerf
Hope deceives more men than cunning does.

Luc de Clapiers

And the payoff:

Obama press conference 11 July 2011:

 “We took very aggressive steps when I first came into office to yank the economy out of a potential Great Depression and stabilize it. And we were largely successful in stabilizing it. But we stabilized it at a level where unemployment is still too high and the economy is not growing fast enough to make up for all the jobs that were lost before I took office and the few months after I took office.”

Coming to a School Near You

Published in the 8 July 2011 edition of the Toronto Star, with the original caption:

At Valley Park Middle School, Muslim students participate in the Friday prayer service. Menstruating girls, at the very back, do not take part.

Yes, that image was taken in a public school, during school hours, in a Western democracy. The year is, in fact, 2011, not 1011.

A Very Small Club

 From the 7 July 2011 Portland Craigslist under Writing Gigs:

Did you survive a terminal illness?

By definition, I would guess that no one answered ‘Yes’.


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