Posted by: bkivey | 22 July 2011

Groped By The TSA

In ten short years, the TSA has managed the unthinkable: they’ve become the most despised public instituion in the U.S.  While pondering this development, I was moved to pen a little ditty to the tune of Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born In The USA’.

Bought a ticket to get out of town
Had to run the gauntlet ‘fore I left the ground
Agents like their jobs a bit too much
Boss spends her time, just making stuff up

[chorus]
Groped by the TSA
Groped by the TSA
Groped by the TSA
Groped by the TSA

Got in a little airport jam
Took my laptop from my hands
Irradiate me, that’s the plan
Give a pass to the Arab man

[chorus]

Take off your shoes, take off your belt
You start wonderin’ what the drug dog smelled
Take a picture, it’s a Federal crime
Pull out your cell phone, an’ you’re doin’ time

[chorus]

The good they do, I don’t see
Haven’t caught any enemy
Thought I lived in the land of the free
All I want to do is go from A to B

[chorus]

Born from the ashes of nine one one
You could say, the terrorists won
I’m getting harassed by my own country
Do you feel safer? No, not me

Blair Ivey 11 July 2011

Walken This Way

You may have enjoyed his work in such movies as The Dogs of War, A View to a Kill, and Pulp Fiction. Or seen him during one of his seven stints as guest host on Saturday Night Live. But you’ve probably never seen him reading a children’s story. This 1993 clip shows Christopher Walken in a performance that presaged a similar role in The Simpsons  Season 12 episode Insane Clown Poppy.

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