Posted by: bkivey | 27 April 2012

The Best of the Web Today Pt. 6

More “Say What?” headlines plucked from the Web by James Taranto in his ‘The Best of the Web Today’ column (link on right).

1 March 2006

Unless Your Mind Is Really Restless
“Yellowstone More Volcanically Active Than Thought, Study Says”–headline,

What Would We Do Without Studies?
“Study: Reading Key to College Success”–headline, Associated Press

You Only Live Twice
“Jurors began deliberations Wednesday for a man who was convicted of murdering three people for a second time.”–KPRC-TV Web site (Houston)

2 March 2006

Innovations in Educational Architecture
“New Valley School Project Will Include Classrooms”–headline, Beach Reporter (Hermosa Beach, Calif.)

23 March 2006

Lower Than 100%?
“People who get only 6 to 7 hours a night have a lower death rate than those who get 8 hours of sleep.”–

19 March 2007

It’s New Jersey, After All
“Crook Is Newest Judge in Burlington County”–headline, Courier-Post (Cherry Hill, N.J.)

20 March 2007

The Things People Will Do for a Free Upgrade
“Airline Moves Dead Body to 1st Class After Woman Dies in Economy Cabin on International Flight”–headline, Associated Press

24 March 2008

Remember Bill Clinton’s Saxophone?
“Dinosaur Lured Mates With Giant Horns”–headline, Reuters,

Hey, Nice Throw!
“5 Tossed Out of South Loop Restaurant, 1 Hits Cop”–headline, Sun-Times News Group (Chicago)

Last Seen Slipping Across the Border Into Alabama State
“Oklahoma State Escapes Florida State”–headline, Associated Press

7 April 2008

Ted Kennedy Got 40 Years in the Senate
“Man Who Left Friend Pinned in Wreckage Gets 7 Years in Prison”–headline, Greenville (S.C.) News

8 April 2008

But Was He Charged?
“Man Arrested in Dual Battery Case”–headline, Santa Cruz (Calif.) Sentinel (second item)

15 April 2008

Too Much Information
“Marilyn Monroe Sex Film Is ‘Graphic’ “–headline,

“Kennedy Would Have Pulled Out, Film Suggests”–headline, Toronto Star

22 April 2008

Two Papers–No, Two Stories–in One!
“Presumed Language of Jesus Fading Away in Syria”–headline, New York Times (Paris edition), Mideast section

“In Syrian Villages, the Language of Jesus Lives”–headline, New York Times (Paris edition), Africa section

25 April 2008

Then the Big Band Era Began
“Humans Lived in Tiny, Separate Bands for 100,000 Years”–headline, Agence France-Presse



  1. Lol silly.
    23 March is actually true. Sick people sleep more than active, healthy people, so of course people getting more sleep have a higher death rate.

  2. Hi Melanie,

    Thanks for reading and commenting. Sick or healthy, I don’t think the death rate for anyone is lower than 100%.



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