Posted by: bkivey | 1 May 2013

The Shape Of Things To Come

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a stirring speech today, President Obama praised the American worker, slammed obstructionists in Congress, and called for sweeping domestic policy changes. After the Rose Garden appearance, the President graciously allowed the press to ask a few questions.

When asked how his proposals would affect the average American, the President replied:

” I think it’s important to remember that American’s sent a message in 2012; that most people maybe prefer security to some of the freedom’s we’ve traditionally had. Real freedom comes from not having to worry about things like food, housing, or health care.  This is especially true for women, children, and protected minorities.

 I’m working  hard to ensure that those who are best positioned to make decisions about these basic services, the tens of thousands of dedicated government workers, have the resources they need. I encourage as many Americans as possible who need government services to meet basic needs to take advantage of them. “

The President clarified his suggestion that Republicans shouldn’t be allowed to hold office:

“Well, the Declaration of Independence says that all people are created equal, and I believe that. But I also know that some folks have a better view of what’s going on. Democrats, in particular, have the best interests of the average American at heart. We’ve been there; we’re down with the struggle. Folks should just let us do our job, and not worry so much about things.”

Some suggested that perhaps the President’s term hasn’t been as successful as he would have liked:

“Look, I’m working five days a week, 45 weeks a year to help the American people. It’s not my fault that some folks elect representatives whose attitudes are not optimal for what I’m trying to do. I can’t do it all by myself. I need a Congress, House and Senate, that supports my policies. Folks are going to have to step up and elect the right people.”

The most surprising parts of the President’s speech were his call for a Federal Police force, and the establishment of a ‘guest worker’ program.

“Part of my job is to defend this country against enemies foreign and domestic. I think recent events have shown that we haven’t been paying enough attention to the domestic side. I’ve directed the head of Homeland Security to establish a Federal Police agency that will have broad jurisdiction to arrest and detain suspected terrorists. There will be a toll-free hotline for use by any citizen to make anonymous tips. We’re also going to use surveillance drones over most cities and during public events to ensure public safety.

I’ve also directed the State Department and the Labor Department to establish a guest worker program that will allow our unemployed citizens to work overseas. Some of our trading partners, like China, have expressed an interest in having American workers, the most productive in the world, boost their labor force. If someone is collecting government benefits, they’d have the opportunity to go overseas, all expenses paid, and do useful work. Of course, the benefiting country would choose what work is done. It’s a win-win; they get productive workers, and our trade deficit is lowered.”

Some media reports that the ‘guest worker’ program was nothing more than indentured servitude were quickly retracted on pressure from the White House.

 

 

 

 

 

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