Today is the traditional observation of Memorial Day in the US. Originating during the Civil War, the observance was made official on 5 May 1868, and rearranged to make a three-day weekend in 1968. There are a number of observances in the area, but the one I attend is at the Willamette National Cemetery atop Mt. Scott in Portland.  Atop the mountain is an amphitheater, with a view to the valley below. There are some 150,000 graves on the grounds, and thanks to local Boy Scout troops, every one has a flag.

The program usually runs about an hour and a half, with speeches by local dignitaries, including a Senator and a Congressman. Local drum and bugle corps and bagpipers provide the music, along with singers. The program strikes a nice balance between solemnity and patriotism, as most speakers keep their remarks mercifully short. The exception this year was former Blazer broadcaster Bill Schonely, who spoke for some time, even as the rain started to fall. This time of year in western Oregon is usually cool and grey, and today was no exception.

The 172nd Fighter Wing puts in an appearance about halfway through the program, but this year operational considerations delayed them, so they flew over in the middle of America the Beautiful, which worked out. A civilian group flying vintage aircraft overflew the site performing the ‘missing man’ maneuver. I suspect this wasn’t part of the plan, because the event wasn’t on the program, and they interrupted the MC. There is an invocation and a benediction, and at the end there is a 21-gun salute with howitzers, and the playing of Taps.

There were about three dozen veterans in the audience, ranging from WW II to the present day. It won’t be too long before there aren’t any WW II or Korean War vets at all, so it was nice to see young children spend a few minutes with them.

During the speeches, Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and 2nd Inaugural were quoted, but one speaker quoted Gen. George C. Marshall. When asked during WW II if America had a secret weapon, Gen. Marshall replied “Yes, we do have a secret weapon. We grow the best damn kids on the planet.”

There are four Medal of Honor winners interred in Willamette National Cemetery, two of whom were killed in action. It’s fitting that today we remember them, and all the ‘best damn kids’ who gave up all their tomorrows.

Loren R. Kaufman

Sfc. Kaufman distinguished himself by conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity above and beyond the call of duty in action. On the night of 4 September the company was in a defensive position on 2 adjoining hills. His platoon was occupying a strong point 2 miles away protecting the battalion flank. Early on 5 September the company was attacked by an enemy battalion and his platoon was ordered to reinforce the company. As his unit moved along a ridge it encountered a hostile encircling force. Sfc. Kaufman, running forward, bayoneted the lead scout and engaged the column in a rifle and grenade assault. His quick vicious attack so surprised the enemy that they retreated in confusion. When his platoon joined the company he discovered that the enemy had taken commanding ground and pinned the company down in a draw. Without hesitation Sfc. Kaufman charged the enemy lines firing his rifle and throwing grenades. During the action, he bayoneted 2 enemy and seizing an unmanned machine gun, delivered deadly fire on the defenders. Following this encounter the company regrouped and resumed the attack. Leading the assault he reached the ridge, destroyed a hostile machine gun position, and routed the remaining enemy. Pursuing the hostile troops he bayoneted 2 more and then rushed a mortar position shooting the gunners. Remnants of the enemy fled to a village and Sfc. Kaufman led a patrol into the town, dispersed them, and burned the buildings. The dauntless courage and resolute intrepid leadership of Sfc. Kaufman were directly responsible for the success of his company in regaining its positions, reflecting distinct credit upon himself and upholding the esteemed traditions of the military service

Larry G. Dahl

Sp4c. Dahl distinguished himself by conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity while serving as a machine gunner on a gun truck near An Khe, Binh Dinh Province. The gun truck in which Sp4c. Dahl was riding was sent with 2 other gun trucks to assist in the defense of a convoy that had been ambushed by an enemy force. The gun trucks entered the battle zone and engaged the attacking enemy troops with a heavy volume of machine gun fire, causing a large number of casualties. After a brief period of intense fighting the attack subsided. As the gun trucks were preparing to return to their normal escort duties, an enemy hand grenade was thrown into the truck in which Sp4c. Dahl was riding. Instantly realizing the great danger, Sp4c. Dahl called a warning to his companions and threw himself directly onto the grenade. Through his indomitable courage, complete disregard for his safety, and profound concern for his fellow soldiers, Sp4c. Dahl saved the lives of the other members of the truck crew while sacrificing his own. Sp4c. Dahl’s conspicuous gallantry, extraordinary heroism, and intrepidity at the cost of his life, above and beyond the call of duty, are in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service and reflect great credit on himself, his unit and the U.S. Army.

 

I wanted some quesadillas last night, and I didn’t want to buy a pound of sour cream that would eventually go bad before I could use it all, and I didn’t want to buy salsa. I looked at the ingredients on the salsa label, and didn’t see any reason why I couldn’t make my own. I’ll give you the recipes I used for the salsa and quesadillas, but there won’t be any precise measurements. At one time in my life I worked for years in a kitchen (mostly while going to school), and I ‘know’ how much ingredient to use to make a good dish. Part of the fun of cooking is experimenting.

Salsa

1 small to medium size tomato

Onion

Garlic

Olive oil

Cilantro

Salt

Pepper

This is really not a true salsa, but it’s pretty good.You should really make this a day ahead to let the flavors mingle, but if you make it first and let it sit in the refrigerator, it will work well enough.

Dice a tomato into small pieces. A small one will make plenty for two or three people. Cut a 1/4″ slice from a white onion, and dice it up. Add a couple of minced garlic cloves. Depending on your taste for the herb, you may want less. Add a little olive oil, and a dash each of salt and pepper. Usually you put cilantro in salsa, but I didn’t have any on hand and forgot to buy some. Stir well, cover, and put it in the refrigerator.

Quesedillas

8″ flour tortillas (2 per person)

Meat of your choice

Onion

Jalapeno peppers

Lime juice

Mushrooms

Cheese of your choice. I usually use pepper jack.

Olive oil

Green enchilada sauce

I usually use 8″ flour tortillas, but pretty much any size will work. I used chicken for the meat, but pork or beef, or even fish will work, or you could go vegetarian. One good-sized chicken breast will make enough filling for two 8″ tortillas. I microwave the meat, then put it in the freezer to cool.

While the meat is getting nuked, preheat the oven to 350F. In a 12″ frying pan over medium heat, heat a tablespoon or so of the oil, and add a diced onion slice, sliced mushrooms, and minced jalapenos. Add lime juice to taste. You’re just looking to lightly saute the vegetables. When the onions are translucent, add the enchilada sauce to taste. You want enough to bind the ingredients together without making a sauce. Remove from heat.

Put the tortillas on a sheet pan. By this time the meat should be cool enough to work with, so take it out of the freezer. Dice it into small cubes, and add it to the vegetable mixture. Divide the mixture among the tortillas. Grate enough cheese to cover the filling on each tortilla, and place a second tortilla to cover. Press down firmly enough to seat the top tortilla, but don’t mash the ingredients. Place in the oven for about 10 minutes.

When the cheese is melted, the quesedillas are done. Remove from the oven, and slice them like a pizza. Serve with the salsa. One 8″ quesedilla will feed one reasonably hungry person. Serve with the Mexican lager of your choice. ¡Goce!

Some random items from the Web:

Walk on the Wild Side

Viator is a large tour company that operates tours in just about any country you might care to visit. I’ve never done business with them, but I did happen to stumble across their Amsterdam page, and it turns out you can take a walking tour of that city’s Red Light District. From the page:

Highlights

• Amsterdam Red Light District tour
• Two-hour escorted walking tour through Amsterdam’s Red Light District
• Visit to the Prostitution Information Center, including one drink
• Enlightening insights into the oldest profession in the world
• Safely escorted by a reliable local guide

All this for about $30, but you have to show proof-of-age that you’re at least 18. The tour description raises some questions:

• Is the ‘escort’ an actual escort, or a tour guide?
• What kind of tip might they expect?
• One hopes that the ‘one drink’ isn’t a Mickey Finn, especially if you’re female.

A Global Force For Rock

The US Navy has been kicking ass and taking names since 1775, and has earned a well-deserved reputation as a force not to be trifled with.  About the last thing those hostile to the US want to see is a carrier battle group laying offshore, because they know that they’re about to have a Very Bad Day.

Of course, between engagements there’s the numbing routine of shipboard duty. In 2006, VAW-116 of the USS Abraham Lincoln found themselves in the middle of aquatic nowhere, and like any other group of intelligent 20-somethings, decided to make a couple of videos. The videos went viral, and made the squadron somewhat famous. The videos are  well done for amateur efforts, and hugely enjoyable. They’re the kind of thing that might make some people wonder why they can’t be from a cool country like this one.

Here are the Sun Kings take on Outkast’s Hey Ya, and The Black Eyed Peas’ Pump It.

And On A Related Note . . .

If you’re on a college sports team, you’re going to spend long hours in a van getting to contests. The Harvard baseball team decided to liven things up by doing a choreography to Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe. The video was uploaded to YouTube on 6 May and went viral. Not to be outdone, the SMU women’s crew did the same thing in their van. Sorry guys, but the girl’s effort is far superior.

Both videos are here, along with a third video of the two originals synched together.

Today in History

• 1935 – Babe Ruth hits his last 3 home runs, Boston Braves vs Pirates
• 1935 – Jesse Owens equals or breaks 6 world records in one hour
• 1961 – JFK sets goal of putting a man on Moon before the end of decade
• 1968 – Rolling Stones release “Jumping Jack Flash”
• 1977 – “Star Wars” released

• 
  

A sampling of Letters to the Editor that have appeared over the last couple of months:

Health Care

I would argue that the whole health care debate is obsolete. Health insurance premium payers and taxpayers already subsidize the uninsured for care they are unable or unwilling to pay. I believe that paying for the care of those without insurance is a form of government interference. If the Affordable Care Act is unconstitutional, then so is the current “non-system” mandating that insurance premium payers and providers support the non-payers. Where is the consistency in logic?

DAVID A. NARDONE
Hillsboro

This week the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare. Many feel the government cannot force individuals to purchase a private product such as insurance. The discussion sidesteps the parallel question: Can doctors and hospitals be forced to provide uncompensated care to individuals without insurance?

The Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act of 1986 requires that if I, as an on-call physician, do not provide services regardless of whether a patient can pay, I can be fined as much as $50,000. The same holds true for ER physicians and hospitals.

Where is the outrage at this abridgement of freedom? Perhaps those opposing Obamacare don’t really want to see trauma victims bleed to death at the ER door for lack of insurance, so they push the duty onto the providers — a convenient hypocrisy. Patient mandate, intolerable. Provider mandate, just dandy.

J. SCOTT GIBSON
McMinnville

I had insurance before I retired, but the company decided to drop my coverage. I opted to continue my medical insurance on my own, as I felt it was in my best interest. If the Supreme Court declares the mandatory medical insurance unconstitutional, I’ll drop my insurance, and if there’s a need for me to seek medical help, I’ll just go to the emergency room and let someone else pay for me. Or better yet, I’ll tell the doctor to send the bill to the Supreme Court.

AL ARBOLEDA
Northeast Portland

There are many, many other letters with the same misconception: that uninsured people walk (or are carried) into an ER, receive treatment, and walk out, with nary a financial obligation to trouble their irresponsible little heads. The fact is that the moment you leave the hospital, the letters and phone calls from the various providers start. Medical services are like any other business transaction: the benefiting party has a legal (and moral) obligation to pay the service providers. Medical service providers can, and will, make all legal efforts to recoup their costs. Folks who don’t come to terms with their obligation are going to find their credit scores damaged, which will negatively affect their ability to get a loan, a place to live, and ability to get a job.

I’ve had to receive emergency medical care with and without insurance. The times I haven’t had insurance, I paid what bills I could, and arranged payment plans for the rest. Sometimes it took a few years, but everybody was paid in full. I currently have a primary care physician who doesn’t accept insurance, so his prices are very reasonable. His treatment model is to use the most cost-effective (not necessarily the best) treatments and drugs. It’s sort of like government-run healthcare, except I pay cash for everything, and I don’t have to wait for weeks to see him.

Medical providers are required by law to provide emergency treatment to the uninsured, but there’s no corresponding absolution of obligation on the part of  the patient.

A Plan I Like

In the colonial era, homeowners paid collectively for volunteer firemen and received a “fire mark” that hung outside the house. No marker meant no effort would be made to fight the fire in the uninsured houses.

Unfortunately fire, like disease, spreads. In 1736, after a major Philadelphia fire, Ben Franklin formed the first city fire company to fight all fires. Our system of health insurance does the same thing. Hospitals are mandated to treat everyone, regardless of ability to pay — and that came about because of widespread stories about people dying while waiting for care.

Perhaps we should go back to the early 1900s, when counties provided charity wards and poorhouses, giving minimum care to all. (People paid extra for better treatment and better drugs.) Those who opt out of government insurance would agree to minimum charity care when needed. Fair?

S.A. COOK
Southwest Portland

Searching for a Point

From someone by the user name patsherman comes this:

Admittedly I don’t know much more about our Constitution than any average citizen, so I have to admit that it’s flattering to learn that somebody who knows something about our Constitution agrees with me. It’s even better when I said it before the smarty-pants did. Anyway…

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/is-the-filibuster-unconstitutional/2012/05/15/gIQAYLp7QU_blog.html

While the linked article discusses whether the filibuster in the US Senate is constitutional or not, the arguments proposed by Mr. Emmit Bondurant are similar to some ideas that I considered over a year ago. The crux of the matter has to do with the relative power of the majority and minority. And an important part of Bondurant’s argument relates to the change in population between 1790 and now.

First, please read the linked article. Then, consider this data that I calculated based on the census data from 1790 and 2010.

In 1790 the five least populous states included 369,676 people or 9.5% of the population
The least populous state, Delaware, had one senator for every 29,547 people
The most populous state, Virginia, had one senator for every 373,805 people
Ratio of most populous to least populous senatorial representation was 12.65

In 2010 the thirteen least populous states included 13,725,340 people or 4.5% of the population
The least populous state, Wyoming, had one senator for every 281,813 people
The most populous state, California, had one senator for every 18,626,978 people
Ratio of most populous to least populous senatorial representation was 66.09

These are dramatic changes, never anticipated by the Founding Fathers.

Fun with numbers, but I’m not seeing a point here. The people are represented in the lower chamber (House), and the states are represented in the upper chamber (Senate). Each state’s House delegation is based on Census data, so the number of Representatives from each state will likely change every decade. Even in 1787 the states were of disparate size, so the purpose of allowing a fixed number of Senators from each state was that the smaller states would have parity with the larger states. I’d say the Founders did an excellent job of foreseeing changes.

Let’s move on:

And consider this:
Based on the data, in 1790 states representing 9.5% of the population could block any amendment to the Constitution. In 2010 states representing a mere 4.5% of the population have the power to block any amendment to the Constitution.

In my opinion this is definitely not what a democracy, a representative democracy, or a representative republic is supposed to be.

Ms. Sherman is careful to use the number 13 as her basis, because any Constitutional amendment would require the approval of three-fourths (38) of the state legislatures. What she’s overlooking is the fact that before an amendment can go to the states, it has to get out of Congress. Any Constitutional amendment must pass by a two-thirds majority in both chambers of Congress. Here is where the most populous states have a significant advantage in shaping legislation. California alone controls 12% of the votes in the House, while the 13 smallest states combined control just 4% of votes. The fact that hundreds of ill-considered Constitutional amendments have died in Congress shows that the system works.

And honestly, if you’re going to complain about something, at least propose some sort of solution.

At the Movies

I watched Goldeneye last night, and some thoughts occurred. We all know the story, so let’s go right to the notes.

• In the pre-credit sequence, Bond uses a spike gun equipped with a winch to attach himself to a roof and reel himself in. That’s pretty handy, but in the next scene we see that the gun also packs a laser powerful enough to cut steel. When I saw that, my first thought was ‘What, no eye protection?’

• At the Goldeneye command bunker in Siberia, why are all the displays in English?

• Dame Judy Dench. Enough said.

• When Q is showing Bond his new car, I was wondering why any machine Bond gets his hands on needs a self-destruct device. I don’t think I’ve seen anything last the movie.

• There’s a scene where one of the villain babes is ordering computer components. One phrase stands out: 14.4 modems.

• In the public bath scene, where does Bond get the gun? It’s not like he’s wearing anything to conceal it under.

• Bullets don’t spark.

• Cars don’t spark, either.

It’s still a fun movie.

 

 

 

A couple of months ago the local paper of record published an article detailing some ideas floated by a blue-ribbon panel of energy experts and environmentalists. The purpose is to find ways to reduce carbon emissions and so-called ‘greenhouse’ gasses like CO2 and N2O. Finding ways to increase energy supply for a growing population and reducing the cost of that energy is not a priority.

Oregon is blessed with one of the nations premier hydro power locations, and is in the top-tier for wind power potential. The state has been aggressively pursuing wind power, to the point that thousands of turbines populate the high desert. So many wind farms have been built that proponents are starting to become opponents, citing the huge amounts of land required, the distinct lack of visual appeal, the high tax subsidies required to make wind farms cost-effective, and the fact that wind turbines are regular Cuisinarts when it comes to birds.

Some of the ideas floated by various panels include:

Carbon Tax

This is a favorite of the neopagans. The idea is to levy a tax on the carbon emissions from the burning of fossil fuels, typically by the tonne.  A variation is cap-and-trade, where the polluting entity can offset some of tax burden by trading pollution credits to lower emitters, or by investing in reduced emission power production. The motivating idea is that production of pollutants has a negative effect on society, and those marginal costs should be recouped.

Utilities are understandable against these schemes, because they impose additional operating and administrative costs. Because utility rate increases are limited by law, they can’t immediately pass on costs to consumers. Assuming a utility is allowed to raise its tariffs the maximum amount each period, it could take years before rates accurately reflect the cost of doing business. Meanwhile, the regulations are in place, and the money to comply has to come from somewhere. That somewhere might be in deferred maintenance, labor costs, or conservation programs, but some part of the operation will suffer.

A carbon tax is also a regressive tax, because utility rates will go up, and those in lower-income groups will be more affected. Politicians will make political hay and demonize the ‘evil, polluting utility’ while calling on the state to ‘do something’. What will happen is that tax revenue will be used to fund low-income assistance programs, thereby adding more cost and complexity to government. Then there’s the army of lawyers, accountants, and financial specialists whose entire careers will be spent finding ways to game the system for their respective client’s advantage.  Now you need more bureaucracy to deal with that mess.

Meanwhile, the underlying assumptions for the tax are in doubt, and even if the climate alarmists are right, any benefit realized by the imposition of a carbon tax will be marginal at best, and nowhere near worth the cost. Here’s an idea: NO.

Renewable Energy

Oregon already gets nearly half of its electric generating capacity from renewable sources; 42% from hydro, and 3% from wind. Coal and gas-fired plants make up 48%. It’s state law that major utilities must generate 25% of their power from renewable resources by 2025. As this handy website shows, only one major utility produces less than 25% of its electricity from renewable resources now. Because the expansion of wind farms is reaching the limit of public acceptance, and it’s unlikely people are going to be any more disposed toward large-scale solar installations, any utility that doesn’t currently meet the standard is going to have a tough time.

I’m guessing that because there isn’t any enforcement mechanism in the standard,  it’s going to fall by the wayside. You can already write the speeches: “We came up short, but it was a good idea and a noble effort. We’ll work harder in the future to identify ways to increase renewable energy production blah, blah, blah.”

Conservation

This is my area of professional expertise. I enjoy the work, and making anything better is inherently cool. There is some justified concern that organizations are only interested in energy efficiency options with a quick (<3 year) payback, and are not interested in more expensive, longer horizon projects. The fact is that in this part of the country, electricity is cheap enough that any effort with a payback period much longer than 2 – 3 years is a tough sell. The economics just don’t work.

Largely unknown to the general public is that major utilities are actively involved in energy efficiency programs and spend considerable resources on them. It’s much more cost-effective for a utility to extend available generating capacity through conservation efforts than to build new capacity.

Some of the conservation ideas proposed include time-of-day (TOD) metering, and automatic demand management. Most utilities offer TOD options, but for the great majority of people who live on traditional schedules, they’re not really cost-effective. Demand management is the statist solution to conservation, as your demand is managed by the utility, not you. Think of having your air conditioning cut off in the middle of the day.

In the twisted logic of the progressive world, resource extraction or building capacity won’t alleviate an energy crisis, but ever more restrictive and expensive conservation efforts will. Conservation and efficiency are generally good ideas, but at some point you’re gonna have to come up with additional resources.

Great Moments in Political Courage

Last week the Governor of Vermont signed a bill into law banning the practice of hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, in the extraction of natural gas. Because Vermont has little or no natural gas reserves, this is the political equivalent of banning ski resorts in Hawai’i, and reminds me of the nuclear-free zone ban fad of the ’90′s.

Cleaning out odds and ends. Grasscatcher Pt. 1 is here.

Why Didn’t I Think of That?

The Star Trek pizza cutter. Nerdy and useful, but way cooler than a pocket protector. Or one of those calculator belt cases that I may have worn in high school.

If you want to really geek out your kitchen, why not have a  Shuttlecraft butter dish? Fact: When Desilu execs saw the drawings for the Shuttlecraft, they complained that it looked like . . . a butter dish. Or, perhaps a hand phaser BBQ lighter. “Mr. Sulu, set briquets to ‘glow’.”  Now that I think about it, why not make a mini-torch in the shape of a hand phaser (Type I or II)? Folks on the jobsite would be begging to braze pipe. It would be awesome. I suppose you could make one resembling a lightsaber, but that would just be lame.

100 Years of Consumer Tech

From the website for The Atlantic magazine comes this chart illustrating 100 years of consumer technology in the household. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that every one of these technologies is present in my house. I suppose I could say that I am the 60%. From a personal standpoint, we got our first color TV (13″) about 1972. It stayed in my father’s office, and we (the kids) weren’t allowed to watch it. In fact, we didn’t watch much TV at all, but there were plenty of books around.  I bought my first computer in 1986. I got my first microwave in 1988. I first used the Internet in 1996, and got my first (company issued) cellphone in 2006. I didn’t actually have a personal cellphone until 2008.

On a related note, I’m looking forward to the whale oil delivery tomorrow so I can light my lamps, and I’m getting a new buggy whip Monday.

A Brace of Related Items

Offered without comment is this headline: China Laughs at India’s ‘Dwarf’ Missile

I was in the library (Motto: Not Everything is on the Internet) a few days ago and saw woman reading a book titled Riding the Iron Rooster. This caused me to do a double take at the apparent double entendre. So I looked up the title. It’s not what you might think.

Why Kids Are Fat

From the L. Douglas Wilder Middle School newsletter from the 2010 – 2011 academic year, we learn that several Summer courses were available (scroll down a bit). Online courses included: Earth Science, Geometry, and Health & PE 9. I would like for someone to explain to me how one can take physical education (PE) online. Is it like The Sims? Does one enter a virtual locker room and virtually dress out? Do you have to climb a virtual rope? The mind boggles.

The Coolest Thing You’ll Hear This Week

I enjoy anything done well. Even if I have no interest in the activity, I appreciate mastery. This is why people watch Olympic sports that they’d have zero interest in otherwise. Excellence is it’s own reward, but we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t want others to notice, too.

I also enjoy classical music, and not just the stuff you hear on the ‘classic rock’ station. John Pachalbel is one of my preferred composers, and his Canon in D Major is well-known even by those who couldn’t tell a harpsichord from a hurdy-gurdy. So what would happen if a young man arranged this standard for electric guitar, and then proceeded to shred the motherloving daylights out of it? Well, this.

I’ve researched the video, and it appears legitimate. The man can play. If this doesn’t put a smile on your face, you’ve checked your soul at the door.

More “Say What?” headlines plucked from the Web by James Taranto in his ‘The Best of the Web Today’ column (link on right).

1 March 2006

Unless Your Mind Is Really Restless
“Yellowstone More Volcanically Active Than Thought, Study Says”–headline, Bloomberg.com

What Would We Do Without Studies?
“Study: Reading Key to College Success”–headline, Associated Press

You Only Live Twice
“Jurors began deliberations Wednesday for a man who was convicted of murdering three people for a second time.”–KPRC-TV Web site (Houston)

2 March 2006

Innovations in Educational Architecture
“New Valley School Project Will Include Classrooms”–headline, Beach Reporter (Hermosa Beach, Calif.)

23 March 2006

Lower Than 100%?
“People who get only 6 to 7 hours a night have a lower death rate than those who get 8 hours of sleep.”–LiveScience.com

19 March 2007

It’s New Jersey, After All
“Crook Is Newest Judge in Burlington County”–headline, Courier-Post (Cherry Hill, N.J.)

20 March 2007

The Things People Will Do for a Free Upgrade
“Airline Moves Dead Body to 1st Class After Woman Dies in Economy Cabin on International Flight”–headline, Associated Press

24 March 2008

Remember Bill Clinton’s Saxophone?
“Dinosaur Lured Mates With Giant Horns”–headline, Reuters,

Hey, Nice Throw!
“5 Tossed Out of South Loop Restaurant, 1 Hits Cop”–headline, Sun-Times News Group (Chicago)

Last Seen Slipping Across the Border Into Alabama State
“Oklahoma State Escapes Florida State”–headline, Associated Press

7 April 2008

Ted Kennedy Got 40 Years in the Senate
“Man Who Left Friend Pinned in Wreckage Gets 7 Years in Prison”–headline, Greenville (S.C.) News

8 April 2008

But Was He Charged?
“Man Arrested in Dual Battery Case”–headline, Santa Cruz (Calif.) Sentinel (second item)

15 April 2008

Too Much Information
“Marilyn Monroe Sex Film Is ‘Graphic’ “–headline, CBSNews.com

“Kennedy Would Have Pulled Out, Film Suggests”–headline, Toronto Star

22 April 2008

Two Papers–No, Two Stories–in One!
“Presumed Language of Jesus Fading Away in Syria”–headline, New York Times (Paris edition), Mideast section

“In Syrian Villages, the Language of Jesus Lives”–headline, New York Times (Paris edition), Africa section

25 April 2008

Then the Big Band Era Began
“Humans Lived in Tiny, Separate Bands for 100,000 Years”–headline, Agence France-Presse

On 21 April the Seattle Mariners hosted the Chicago White Sox at Safeco Field. The Mariners bats have shown some life this year, along with solid fielding and a lack of base-running errors that have plagued them in recent seasons.  None of that mattered yesterday, because starting Sox pitcher Phil Humber pitched a perfect game. In 143 years of Major League Baseball, that feat has only been achieved 21 times. No hits, no walks, no hit batters. First base may as well have been on the Moon for all the success the Mariners had in reaching it. 27 up and 27 down.

Humber only needed 96 pitches to get through the game. He expended a paltry 20 pitches to get through the middle innings, and then needed a mere six pitches each for the sixth and seventh innings. In keeping with baseball superstition when a pitcher has a no-hitter going, Humber’s teammates had less and less to do with him in the dugout as the game progressed. After Mariner Brendan Ryan struck out to end the game, Humber was mobbed by his team as the fans in the stadium gave him a raucous standing ovation.

A perfect game is both a team and individual effort. The pitcher has to have great stuff, but the catcher has to call and catch a good game, and the fielders have to turn in solid performances. While it’s possible for pitchers to combine for a perfect game, to date every one has been thrown by hurlers going the distance, as Phil Humber did yesterday. Chapeau!

That’s Why They Play the Game

On a pitch of a different sort, the Portland Timbers pulled off the upset of the year at home last night against Sporting Kansas City. The visiting club owned a perfect record going into the game at 7 – 0, and are far and away the best team in MLS. Before the game, they’d only allowed two goals through seven games. Portland has a solid lock on last place in the Western Conference, although in fairness, it’s a weak conference, and if the Timbers can string together a few good games, they’d be right in the thick of things.So last night should have been a fairly easy win by the visitors.

Except Portland has something that no other MLS team has: a home field advantage like nobody’s business. People who know have compared the experience favorably to anything found in Europe. The fan club is known as the Timber’s Army, and they’re loud and proud through the entire game. This isn’t a few dozen people, but a cast of thousands. The mascot runs around the stadium with a chainsaw. After every Timber’s goal he slices a disc of wood from a large log set up in the north end of the stadium. The slice is passed up and down the stands so everyone can touch it, and so be connected in a tangible way to the action on the field.

As for play on the field, the Timbers are mediocre at best. They did well when they were in the USL, but the move to MLS hasn’t been kind to them. This year has seen a disturbing trend toward mental and physical fatigue in the last fifteen minutes of the game. Several close games have been lost this year toward the end of the game. When the clock hits the 75-minute mark, fans get nervous. So it was last night. After an own-goal by Sporting KC in the first half, the Timbers had tried unsuccessfully to score another goal, but couldn’t put the ball in the net. The latter half of the second period saw KC living in the Timber’s end of the field, but the home team managed to deny the visitors through regulation and four minutes of stoppage time. Stoppage time has not been kind to the Timbers this year.

It’s not often that the lowliest team in a league can hand the top-ranked team a loss, and all the more satisfying to do so while ending a four-game losing skid in one of the best atmospheres in sports.

 

Nearly thirty years ago a man tied a pet carrier to the top of his car and put his dog in it prior to a family trip. This would be completely unremarkable were the man not the current presumptive Republican Presidential nominee. The opposition’s political operatives have dragged this dead horse (dog?) out and beat it repeatedly in an attempt to portray the candidate as a heartless social misfit. What’s worse than a man who mistreats a dog?

Well, what about the man who eats a dog? In a literal ‘man bites dog’ development, some enterprising soul went back through Barack Obama’s autobiography Dreams From My Father  (Times Books, 1995), and found the following passage:

“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.”

The whole ‘dog’ issue has now blown up in the Democratic Party’s face with military-grade force. There’s been some weak attempts at spin control by the President’s party, but the fact is that in their leader’s own words, he ate dog. Where the hell is PETA?

The joy that some are taking in riffing on this development is magnified by this President’s use of the ad hominem attack as a modus operandi. I think that we’ll now have to look at some of the President’s comments in a new light, while this story has legs, and then I’ll let sleeping dogs lie.

“I had learned not to care. I blew a few smoke rings, remembering those years. Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little dog when you could afford it. Not smack, though. …”

“Dreams From My Father” Times Books, 1995

“Over the last 15 months, we’ve eaten dog in every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go.”

8 May 2008

“We can’t drive our SUVs and eat dog as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times … and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.

15 May 2008

“If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a dog, and a fork”

13 June 2008

“A month ago, I was meeting with fishermen down there, standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. And I don’t sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they potentially had the best answers, so I know whose dog to eat. Right? So, you know, this is not theater.”

7 June 2010

4/20

Today is the stoner’s national day of celebration, when they’ll gather in parks and smoke up. The term comes from a group of high-schoolers in 1971 who used the time ’4:20′ as a code to designate a time and place for smoking pot. I expect the demonstrations will be relatively low-key, because people who get high are generally pretty calm.

I had a math teacher in high school who started off the first day of class by announcing that if a student showed up drunk, they’d go right to the office, but if they showed up high, he’d leave them alone.  His reasoning was that drunk teenagers tended to be disruptive, while kids who were high tended to just sit quietly at their desks. My experience is that this observation holds true for the population in general.

I support the legalization of marijuana, regulated and controlled in the same way alcohol is now. Of the two drugs, grass is by far the less harmful. I’ve never heard of anyone starting a fight, or beating their wives, or throwing up all over the couch, while they were high. Sure, the probability of stupid behavior goes up geometrically when a person is high, but you could say the same about a number of legal substances.

In the interest of full disclosure, I smoked pot in my teens and twenties and into my thirties. During that time I was a fully functioning member of society. I held down jobs, went to school, and in general held up my end of the social contract. I quit smoking when I realized that getting high was expensive and wasn’t getting me where I wanted to go. I quit many years ago, and haven’t missed it. I just don’t need to do that anymore.  I don’t mind if someone else smokes a J, just so they don’t come to work or operate machinery around me.

Today is Tax Day in the US, the day that the annual and quarterly Federal and State income tax filings are due. Right on schedule, the Occupy Whatever movement is calling for increased taxes on ‘the 1%’, because we all know that ‘the rich’ don’t pay ‘their fair share’. This shibboleth has been repeated for so long, that I doubt that those mouthing it have given any thought to what they’re saying. It’s easy to believe anything if you don’t think about it.

I invite those folks to take this little tax quiz.

1. Define ‘fair share’. Is it ‘fair’ if everyone pays an equal percentage of their income? An equal dollar amount? Note that neither of these are options under the current system.
2. Is it ‘fair’ if someone pays no income tax? Around 45% of income-earners in the US pay no Federal income tax at all through various combinations of credits and deductions. If a head-of-household qualifies for the Earned Income Credit (EIC), it’s entirely possible for them to get more money back than they paid in. I’ve seen this happen. Is it ‘fair’ for some folks to subsidize other people’s families?
3. Define ‘rich’. Give the household income that you would consider ‘rich’.
4. Consider the following: Richard and Emily are a married couple filing jointly. Richard is an auto mechanic of 20 years experience making $60,000 per year, and Emily is a teacher of 10 years experience making $50,000 annually.  Their gross household income puts them in the top 20% of households in the US. After deductions and exemptions, their taxable income is $85,000: in the top 30% of US households. Using the 2011 IRS tax tables, we find that their Federal tax rate is 16%. Is this fair?
5. Using the same tables, we find that a couple filing jointly with a household income of $20,000 (bottom 20%), would pay 11% of their income in Federal taxes. That’s a rate only 5% less than the top quintile of households. Is that fair?
6. What percentage of the Federal income tax collection comes from the top 20% of earners in the US?
7. On a separate sheet of paper, please explicate the instances in which a ‘rich’ person put a gun to your head and took your money or other property.
8. On another sheet of paper, please explain what will happen if you don’t pay your taxes.
9. Do you believe that the size of the economy is fixed (i.e. a zero-sum game)?
10. If so, explain how the US economy was able to accommodate an increase of hundreds of millions of people in the last 230+ years.
11. Have you worked for a private individual (i.e. business owner)?
12. If so, please explain how they got the money to pay you.
13. Please list the taxes for which a private employer is liable.
14. Have you ever worked for a public agency?
15. If so, please explain how the money for your paycheck was obtained.

Fire Hazard

I had to remove some papers from the vicinity of my desk radio today when Dizzy Gillespie’s ‘Caravan’ came on. Absolutely smokin’.

Far Side Humor

A reasonable intelligence test is to give someone a random Far Side cartoon, and see if they ‘get’ it. I’ve seen people fail this test. I had a random cartoon flash through my grey matter today and give me a smile.

Two geriatric foxes are sitting in rocking chairs outside a hen house. The caption says “I tell you, there was a time when we did more than just guard the hen house.”